Hello my little query sprites!
I’m super excited to announce that Sharon Bayliss’ Best Bad Query Contest went live today! There’s still time to sign up on her website. Basically you write a query which incorporates all the things you SHOULDN’T do in a query, and tweet a 35-ish word pitch on Twitter. The best bad query wins a $25 Amazon card – think of how many books you could buy with that!!
I can’t wait to read all the other hilarious entries. I know I had a ton of fun with this.
Without further ado, here’s my attempt at a bad query:
Sixteen-year-old Halvaness’andra Jones is just a normal high school girl. But could a magical stone change all that?
Halvaness’andra—Nessy—always saw herself as a regular teenager, but after she finds a magical stone which transports her to another world, she’s beginning to question just how normal she really is. Spirited away to Sparqlfareewurld, Nessy learns that she is the long-lost princess of two realms—daughter of a werewolf king and mermaid queen.
Protected by a really muscular “teenage” werewolf who actually looks like a grown-ass man—Shredder—Nessy must travel through the dangerous landscape of Sparqlfareewurld to return the magical stone to her mother, the queen of mermaids.
Romance blossoms between Shredder and Nessy, but when a snarky and tortured merman—Finn—shows up and sensually ignores Nessy, sparks fly between the men.
Who will Nessy choose? Shredder or Finn? Will Nessy return the stone to her cruel mother before she’s trapped in Sparqlfareewurld forever? Only a mer-wolf can save the world, just as the prophecy foretold!
FISHDOG is a 567,000 word YA/MG suspense-romance-horror-fantasy fiction novel. It is Twilight meets Hunger Games.
I have included my whole novel as an attachment. No, I didn’t bother to read your guidelines.
PLEASE NOTICE ME SENPAI,